When will I surrender?

Dear Man I once knew,

If only you knew of the struggles a female has to face in a world without a male figure lighting the dark roads ahead. I threw out the fear of loneliness from my life because it isn’t going to get me very far. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I empowered my self and became my own shield. I learned to move forward with confidence and strength; never to look back and think of what could have been or should have been. It is what it is, and I am happy where I am in life and am optimistic about the future.  One by one goals are being achieved and dreams are becoming reality. Life may not be easy and it does stress me out at times, but my will power and determination keep me going.

I used to hate you and blame you for everything wrong in my life, but now I thank you. Without your gap in my life I wouldn’t be who I am today; a strong-willed independent woman who has the world waiting for her to take it by storm. I learned that you don’t need a man in your life to be successful or happy. We as individuals are our own greatest strength and weakness. I take pride in the fact that I am where I am today and have achieved so much without someone leading the way for me. Life is challenging and a continuous struggle to pave a way for my younger siblings, but knowing that I am saving them the struggle and pain of creating it themselves is a sufficient reason to keep me going. No one was there for me during my achievements and downfalls, but I will always make sure that I will be there every step of the way for my siblings; like a shadow, having their back on every step of the way. I am proud of where my family stands today and am grateful that we had the opportunity to create our own foundation and base.

No one stands with you during times of sorrow and problems; those that do standby your side are the people who really care about us. There is an abundance of people in life that will be present during good times, but not very many of them stick around during bad times. Sincerity is what I ask for and seek in individuals.  I am guarded, but that is because you have forced me to build these defensive walls to protect myself from people who will disappoint me in life; like yourself.

Now you’re trying to come back into my life, but it is too late; the man that I once knew has become a stranger and I refuse to trust this shadow from my past. I admit I walk around with sharpened swords guarding myself from unforeseen dangers lurking in dark corners; however, when rivals strike I posses the strength and audacity to melt the swords into shields of armor to protect those I love.

You ask, “When will you surrender?”

The day you drop your sword and stop attacking. . .

Inspiration: The effects of single parenting on children.

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Life is a Challenge

Tik tok tik tok tik . . . the pressure of time is at its peak. . . another deadline is here.  Now let’s switch up the perspective and make this stressful situation into a positive!

At times it feels as if we have too much to do and not enough time in the day.  As our list of things to do increases the hours in a day seem to decrease. Sometimes I think to myself and get told, you are doing too much; slow down! I ponder over the thought for a while, but then I think about all that I have accomplished.  The stress, sacrifices, and hustling all seem worth it when I look back to see the path that my endurance has created and the distance I have covered in a short span of time.

Making time to do everything is often a challenge and problematic for us. The problem lies in walking away from challenges in life. We spend most of our life running away from challenges; we tell ourselves we can’t or constantly have others inject the affirmation into our minds.  What would happen if we ran towards the challenge and took it head on instead?

We encounter stress whether we are running away or running into challenges. The only difference is that those that ACCEPT challenges know there is a bright light at the end of the tunnel and one day their dedication will pay off.  Due to a fear of  change many of us continue to live a life running away from challenge.  However, due to this fear of change and rejection of challenge we never reach our full potential. Challenges are a part of life; the more challenges you take on, the more experience and opportunities you have to overcome them.

Each challenge in our life represents an opportunity for self-development. Never decline a challenge in fear of change or hard work;  the goals that require us to struggle are the most rewarding and memorable events in our life. Life is a challenge that is here to stay; so we might as well embrace change and challenge with open arms.

Today is a new day, a new beginning, a challenge to change your life for yourself. Rise up to challenge . . .

Inspiration: Feeling of Accomplishment after a due date 🙂

Who Am I?

Describe your personality in three words:  Dedicated, hopeful, and strong-willed.

Describe your rules for life:

  • Never become an obstacle between two people who love each other, but above that never become a barrier between someone you love and their self. Not letting a person grow and be the best version of his/her self would be an injustice to them and you.
  • Never try to keep someone in your life that  does not want to keep you.
  • Never make the same mistake twice. Fall, get up, learn from the mistake and never trip over the same object again.
  • Never hold on to the past, always try to move on. There is no point in hitting repeat and watching the same thing on replay again and again, that would mean I’m stuck and can’t move on.
  • Strength is skin deep; courage comes from the heart. It takes more strength to open up and show healing wounds then it does to build a wall around them.
  • Never settle for anything less than what you deserve and want in life. You just need to figure out what it is first . . .
  • I already know what I want to do; just a matter of the right timing and making thoughts into actions.

Describe a lesson you learned the hard way:

  • You are your own worst enemy. If you befriend this enemy, nothing and no one can bring you down. Harness your inner strength and use it to your advantage.

Describe something you’re afraid of: Not being afraid. With out fear there is no courage. With out courage there is no strength; therefore DelicateStrength would seize to exist.

Describe something you dream of achieving one day: To be known for who I am and not what I am, hopefully a good person.

Describe something people do that really annoys you: Superficiality- Saying and doing things with out sincerity. Superficial conversations and webs of emotionless words spun out of boredom, leaving you stuck with no way to get out . . . hate when that happens!

Describe a quality – a personality trait – that you wish you had: What’s the point in wishing? It takes forever, someone has to grant the wish, and you might not even get what you wished for . . . might as well make the wish into a goal and make it happen yourself. A vigorously earned victory is much more fulfilling and memorable then one that is merely handed to you. I’m satisfied with the qualities I have. I don’t wish for things, I make them reality 😉

Describe a quality you already have that you are proud of: Hmm, first thought: being modest . . . well that wasn’t very modest haha (lol, I may subconsciously think it’s humor). Second thought: I am proud of every quality I posses. Some qualities are not as profound as others, but I have a life time to polish them and one day they will shine brighter than the rays of the sun :).

Inspiration: Question from post Who can answer this question? by fellow blogger tfaswift.

I’ll Be That Bridge

Have you ever noticed the eyes of people who are lost? Whether they be requesting  physical or emotional direction there is an intensity in their gaze that is hungry for knowledge. They wait in anticipation on your every word contemplating over the  insightful information that may lead them to their destination. The pitch black route towards their destination scares them; somewhere along this rigid path they make a wrong turn and no longer know which direction to go. You happen to intersect them on this lonely road and their eyes light up with hope.

The lost eyes look at you as if you are the only person in the world that will understand them. The stranger maintains an eye lock with you searching for an answer in your eyes; he believes you are going to deliver a message that will lead him to salvation. You have never crossed paths with this stranger, but you feel this immediate bond with him. Each time you look into his perplexed eyes you feel a certain familiarity that you can not identify. His lost eyes are captivating  and you have no control over yourself; each time you try to walk away from this stranger fate seems to pull you by the arm and redirect you back to him.

As you guide this individual to his destination you learn more about the stranger and even more about yourself. You never thought you had the inner strength to support and encourage an individual to acquire a destination in their life. You did not know that it would feel so rewarding to watch someone taking steps closer and closer to their goal. One day your journey with this stranger ends, he has finally arrived at his destination. There he stands beaming with fulfillment and pouring gratitude through his once lost eyes.  You feel a sense of pride and joy; these emotions escape your eyes and fall to the ground. Then you realize why the lost eyes were so appealing and why you were initially drawn to this stranger. Those lost eyes contained a reflection of you. Your soul was drawn to aid this stranger because you saw your own lost eyes in his. The journey towards the strangers destination was never just for him. You were never helping a stranger; you were helping yourself . . .

Everyone has experienced the feeling of being lost in life. Sadly, not many people are found or guided and their journey never seems to end. When you see someone with lost eyes be the bridge that will lead them to their destination.

“If you need a helping hand, along the way and I’m the one, I’ll be your soldier, I’ll fight all your best
Till freedom come, and if you need some shelter
Cause, Coming storm
I’ll be your cover keep ya, Safe and warm
I’ll be close by, Any time, Night or day
I’ll be that bridge
That take you over the mountain
I’ll lift you up, and take you over the top”

I’ll be that Bridge -Elliott Yamin

Inspiration: Lost eyes and Elliott Yamin- I’ll be that Bridge

Jealousy in Relationships

A partner that is experiencing the emotion of jealousy may behave this way because they are insecure about themself or the relationship. A little jealousy may seem normal at first, but when it starts to tread along the path of being possesive, we have a problem. Many couples disapprove of their partner having friends from the opposite-sex to insure that they are not cheated on; root of behavior-insecurity. When jealousy emerges in a relationship the couple should overcome the issue by establishing emotional intimacy to enable more faith and trust to develop. However, many times this does not occur and jealous behavior envolves into possesive behavior.

The aggravated partner may argue with his or her significant other or break off the relationship. At this time it is crucial for an individual to realize the destructive behavioral changes caused by jealousy. Those that stay in a relationship with a possessive partner are prone to being physically and emotionally isolated from family and friends (a form of domestic violence). Be aware when a partner starts to display the characteristic of jealousy, it may be a possible red flag that will inevitably annihilate the relationship or worse . . . you.

One thing that individuals need to realize is that regardless of the numerous amounts of people your partner talks to throughout his or her life their heart will only belong to one. If you have an emotional connection with your partner jealousy and insecurity will never be an obstacle in your relationship. In emotional relationships insecurity is replaced by TRUST leaving no room for jealousy.

Maintain emotional intimacy and remember that jealousy is the absence of TRUST; which can only be preserved by sharing and listening to each other.

Inspiration: Discussion with Hulk

Arranged Marriage: Companionate Love

Many middle eastern cultures practice arranged marriage, but it is not as bad of an idea as many of us perceive it to be. I am not saying that I encourage child marriages (stereotype-time has changed-but does occur in rural areas) or saying that your parents should decide who you should marry and what not, but I do agree with the ideology it is based on. When parents search for a potential suitor for their child they look at factors like: personality, education, family, values, health, religious background, and morals. Parents look for a companion for their child; they are not fooled by superficial beauty and hormones. Similarities are what they insure are amongst the couple and the two families unite to guard the sanctity of the marriage.

Why would you marry someone just like you? Don’t you know opposites attract! This is true opposites attract, but they do not last. During the infatuation phase of love individuals often overlook  differences because they are so consumed in the high of being in “love”. Once that high wears off as they spend more time with each other those differences become inconveniences and deal breakers that cause couples to argue or part ways.

Arranged marriage is a form of companionate love : A relationship constructed on affection, trust, and concern for a partners well-being.  Individuals often form a relationship based on passionate love: A relationship based on feelings of euphoria, intimacy, and sexual attraction. Companionate love grows over the course of years while passionate love begins to fade within a few months of the relationship. These two are similar to the concepts of emotional and physical relationships. An ideal relationship would be companionate and passionate, but we often fall victim to the facade of outer beauty and forget about companionship. Though the idea of an arranged marriage may seem bizarre to some; the main idea is finding a companion; an individual we will develop emotional intimacy and passionate love over the course of our life.

A partners body will age and change overtime, but their heart will remain intact. Love is when two hearts, souls, and minds become one . Find someONE not someBODY. . .

Inspiration: A reflective email and psychology book.

The Emergence of DelicateStrength

I recently got nominated for the beautiful blogger award by tfaswift (Thank You, once again). Though I will not be participating, the support and recognition received from fellow readers and bloggers is deeply valued. However, I would like to take this opportunity to recognize bloggers that have inspired me and  let fellow intellectuals know a little more about DelicateStrength.

Why DelicateStrength?

 “What’s in a name? that which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet”-William Shakespeare

My first name translates to “delicate”. I always thought that I was predefined a weak  little girl at birth and will probably develop characteristics exemplary of my name. I associated the word “delicate” with characteristics of being weak, fragile, and dependent. However, during a Mixed Martial Arts class, an acquaintance introduced a different interpretation of the perception of delicacy. The individual said that delicacy is not always associated with weakness. Think of a fencing sword, though it is “delicate” it is a powerful weapon used for defense and is deadly as well. A delicate object may look disarming and weak, but it possess  inner strength that the naked eye often does not perceive.  This perspective changed my interpretation of my name and gave me a new outlook on my identity. A name gives us an identity, but we construct our own perception of  identity and personality.

How did you start blogging?

One of my professors started using WordPress for her class and it gave me the choice to create my own blog; so I thought why not? I wanted to develop my writing skills, watch my thoughts develop, and have a place where I can just write what is on my mind; thus giving birth to “The Mind of an Intellectual”. I never really expected anyone to read, let alone like my posts! The readers and bloggers on WordPress are amazing! It’s nice to be around like-minded people who appreciate each others thoughts.

Who Are You?

I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, a student, an employee, a minority, a thinker,  and an intellectual.

What do I strive to be in life?

A good person.

What are you studying?

Majoring in Criminal Justice and Minor in Psychology, almost done then off to law school 🙂

Describe yourself in 5 words:

 Self-motivated, Strong-willed, Self-disciplined, Modest, Confident

Who Inspires you?

People that love what they are doing and are full of life. Individuals that fight the odds against them and prevail with their determination. Those that fall from the peak of success and learn to get back up. People that lose themselves due to the pressures of society, but overcome the barriers and find themselves. People that know who they are and what they stand for; that do not abandon their values and morals due to peer pressure. Those that bring out the best in others and give back to the world. Indivudals that never give up or lose hope. Those that do not fear to speak the truth and fight for justice.  Males that do not let society constrain them in gender stereotypes and are not afraid to say what they feel. Females that break social and gender norms to make their dreams a reality. Intellectuals that think beyond the obvious. Those that challenge themselves to reach their full potential and do not fear hard work or failing. People that have the ability to diffuse tension and stress with a simple smile.

Which bloggers inspire you the most?